


Like a tree!

by SonofCoul



Category: Avengers infinity war - Fandom, Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), avengers endgame - Fandom
Genre: Group therapy isn't Steve's thing, He isn't just going to sit and do nothing, Natasha and Steve Rogers friendship, She doesn't want him to be alone, Spoilers, Spoilers for Endgame, Spoilers for Endgame TV Spot, Steve Feels, Steve Rogers has a dark side, Steve is mad as hell, Steve's opinions, Steve's perception, acceptance is for when there is no hope left, based on the Endgame super bowl TV spot, steve's feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 11:42:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17661935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonofCoul/pseuds/SonofCoul
Summary: Disclaimer - no copyright infringement intended. For reading enjoyment only. All belongs to Disney/Marvel.A one shot centred around Steve, with a dash of Nat, based on the Endgame Super bowl TV Spot. If you are trying to avoid all trailers/TV spots in the run up to Endgame then do not read. Spoilers (minor)!I am really loving the tone of the teasers we have had so far from Marvel and the Super bowl one has me even more hyped.  I have borrowed a line from the TV spot and played on it.





	Like a tree!

"The sun seemed brighter this morning than it has in a long time."

 

"Thank you, Michael", Jason says, over the applause, echoing loudly around the room.

 

The clapping is suddenly all Steve can hear. So loud, because this room is made to hold so many more, but they're not here, haven't been for a long time. He balls his fists until he can feel his nails digging into the palms of his hands and screws up his face, defiance and determination flowing through his veins, his very being.

 

"Steve?" His name is suddenly echoing loudly through the room. He looks up quickly to find everyone staring at him. He must have zoned out again and he's standing over to the side of the group. He doesn't remember standing or moving. He looks at his hands, red and sore, the indents of his nails in the middle of both hands, though he has not broken skin. Steve moves to re-join the group and stands in front of his seat. He sees the looks of suffocating concern, judgement and even fear, so much feeling in a room of only 7 people. It all enrages him further and all the negative feelings and thoughts he has been holding back to protect the others are bubbling at the surface, scratching and clawing to the surface.

 

"Steve?" Jason prompts.

 

Steve knows he is grinding his teeth and biting his jaw, two things his mother constantly gave him into trouble for as a child. He sighs.

 

"This isn't going to work..." Steve notes Jason about to interrupt "and I'll tell you why", he adds before Jason can say a word. "I have always been more aware of what people assume about me than I was given credit for...and I am talking about before I went on the run. Afterwards, if I had any illusions, they were wiped clean away, but people still assume too much. Assume that because your name is mud, you will be regretting your actions, because if they can't comprehend managing that much trouble for the sake of a belief, then it is impossible.

 

I know what people assume about me, 'the old man stuck in the past'. Oh, I have struggled at times and maybe if I had been at a support group all those years ago when I woke up from the ice, it might have benefitted me, but not now."

 

Steve stops for a breath and notes he has their full attention. Mary looks frightened as though he is directing his words at her alone. He keeps going.

 

"My mother taught me a saying and, admittedly I was never very good at following it, even then. "God, grant me the courage to change the things I can and accept the things I can't". I have always struggled with the last part. However, if there is one thing I despise about the 21st century, even more than need for people to be permanently glued to their phones, it is that the people generally ignore the first part and jump right to the accepting part. Heaven forbid everything is not at your fingertips. Heaven forbid you might have to make some effort and suffer the misconceptions of others, for some justice in the world. No, pass it on to someone else to deal with."

 

Steve looks around the room now and feels a little horror at the savage pleasure coursing in his veins that, after months of attending, he finally seems to have them paying attention to what he is actually saying. Gone are the pitying looks and the "it will get better with time" statements. As if he needs a lecture about loss and time.

 

"This has been a waste of my time and yours...and for that, I apologise. You see, since I woke up in this century, people have been trying to stifle my beliefs because they are a little old fashioned and maybe, some undeniably needed upgrading, but not all. I have had enough of the scoffing at the old man from the history books. History is not there for you to sneer at and dismiss. It is there for you to learn from. America's march to Europe to join the fight against Hitler was not instantaneous. We could help, but for a while, we chose not to. Eventually, we righted that wrong. So, maybe the majority cannot do anything but accept they are gone, the horrid reality in front of you, but me? Me, I can do something..."

 

Steve looks at them all again and sense a shift from some. "I cannot accept when I know there remains hope, no matter how small, no matter the cost to me. That is who I am and if that makes me an idiot or an idealist or whatever word people want to sneeringly throw in my direction, then so be it."

 

Silence greets his words, not that he is expecting applause, and Steve turns away from the group, walking towards the door. Nat is waiting for him in the car.

"Done?"

"Ye". She doesn't bother trying to argue with him. His compromise today was coming when he hadn't even wanted to do that. She knows better than anyone how stubborn he is, has done better than anyone at managing to curb him at his absolute worst.

 

The Hall doors open as the others chat together on their way out. Joseph doesn't wait to chatter, but he smiles at Steve and nods his head as he passes the car.

"What is that about?", Nat questions the rarity, as she starts the engine.

 

"Either, he thinks I am insane and is being polite or he really listened...hopefully the latter."

 

"What did you say?".

 

"Not much. Just, you know, you need to plant a seed for something to grow." Steve smiles, as he sees the incredulous look Nat is giving him, but she doesn't question him further.

 

"Some people, move on, but not me." He's not an idiot, no matter what some people might think. He knows the likely cost to him and he doesn't expect everyone to blindly follow, but while there is a tiny slither of hope, he can't do nothing. He can sense Nat looking at him. "What?", he turns towards her.

 

She looks him straight in the eye "Not us...not us!"

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.


End file.
